I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
