i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
