i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
