Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
how drunk are you?
Several
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
