Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
