It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
nutella sex= disaster
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
