She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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