i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
