out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
