I wannas sexs uuuuu
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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