somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Randomize
