You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
