so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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