Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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