It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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