We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
