I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
