Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
