I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
