Pants 0. Shit 1.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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