he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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