Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
did i just pee glitter
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
