Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
