please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
