I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
