i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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