I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
