Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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