She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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