But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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