Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
