I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
