Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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