Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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