I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
