I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
