Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
