so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
