Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
