We named our party play list daddy issues
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
