I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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