just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
