i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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