That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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