Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
In other news, I just burned my penis
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
