He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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