yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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