If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
