yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
