I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
