i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
