yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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