dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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