like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
