if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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