so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
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