I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
