And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
