Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize