I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
