Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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