So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize