when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
