no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
