Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
