i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I'm passing your future prison.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
